Hope

I wanted to learn from yesterday. I want to live for today. I want to hope for tomorrow. I wanted to believe that hope was a lighted hand wanting to help me in the dark. I could bear to lose disappointment but never bear to lose hope. All I wanted to do was hope and fight for recovery. I wanted to heal the past, live the present and hope the best for the future. I wanted to believe that hope is not in other people and other things. I wanted to believe that hope was in me. I wanted to hope that if I kept my face towards sunshine, I wouldn't see all those dark shadows around me. I wanted to believe that hope was not a dream but a way to make dreams come true. I wanted to believe that hope would never abandon me and I would never abandon it. I wanted to believe that hope would make my dreams come true. I wanted to believe that if I had hope, anything would be possible. I wanted to believe that hope could see the invisible, feel the intangible and achieve the impossible. I wanted to believe that man could live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air but for only one second without hope.

I wanted to believe all of this. Because I didn't want to lose the little hope I had left in me. But before I could even reach inside me to grab the hope, she broke my trust again and took everything away. She ran away and left me in despair. Forever and ever in despair.