Death+Sad+Lonely+Lost = Me

What is death? Death is not the end. It is a new beginning. A day will always end with sleep. Life always ends with death. I desire death. I desire death because I desire things that will destroy me in the end. Who the God loves, dies young. That's partly why I want to die. When I was born, I was crying but everyone around me was smiling. When I die, I will be smiling but everyone around me will be crying. As long as I have at least one thing I want, I have a reason for living. Now I've lost everything. Now I don't have a reason to live. Another reason why I want to die is that once you're dead, people miss you and love you more. Death is just a new chapter of the same story. Death leaves a pain no one can feel but love leaves a memory no one can steal. Every shadow is made by some light, every tear has a smile, death has to have some life. Of all the saddest words of tongue and pen are "It might have been." Sometimes I don't want anyone to see me crying. You know what I do? I go out in the rain so that my tears can be mistaken. Why are the sad quotes always the best quotes? I want a storm. I want rain. So that I can see the rainbow later. The colorful colors across the light blue sky that will make my day the best. I want  to write my bad times in sand so that they can be washed away. I want to write the good stuff on stone so that it can stay. There are lots of things I want. Lots of people. But I wont get anything. Should I give up? I think I will.