Feeling totally -.- !! It's as if someone has cursed me with this stupid depression. I was fine in school, really happy! I come home and *boom* I feel as if killing someone! Now, guess what I feel like doing? I don't feel like going to Lahore! Yeah, I know... Shocking! :( But I just don't know whats wrong with me! I feel like killing myself. God help me! Ayeshaaaaa's goiinngggggg!!! :D Yay!! I don't know why I don't want to go... I feel like breaking everything and crying and yelling!! :( :( :( :(


Uff what is wrong with me? Someone tells me to go and then I remember the fight I had and I think "Noor you won't even have fun. Why go?" ...... *Sigh* What to do, what to do? I will go but I don't feel like going anymore. I hate that bloody fight!


Right now the people who live in the Christian Colony behind my house are yelling "Swadeshi!" and "Shaadi!" Lol!!! :P Maybe they can make my mood better.

Good day good day good day! But obviously it had bad parts. Clandestine parts. :P Anywayyy so yesterday was an amazing day! Today was going much better until after break! :( In a way it shouldn't really matter to me but she was supposed to be my best friend. She broke a lot of promises in a small period of time. Whatever. It wasn't my fault. I tried to talk to her a few times but she ignored me twice so now I guess I'm going to have to start breaking a few promises myself. But the rest of the day was fun! :D When we missed half of English class talking about Lahore with Naureen Teacher. How she kept on teasing 7N that they would stay with her. Oh! All of us are friends now finally!! :D Yay! Everything got solved yesterday. Today everything worked out fine. Well, partially. Everything will be fine, everything will be fine, everything will be fine! Thats what I tell myself.

The Hunger Games!

I've read many different kinds of books. Some I love so much that I keep on reading them again and again. Some I like the first time I read them but then I don't want to read them again. This was the first time a book had such a different effect on me. The Hunger Games, Catching Fire. I loved these books so much but, for some reason, I didn't want to read them again and again. I thought that would spoil the charm of the books. There were parts I just had to read, parts that I couldn't just leave.

Suzanne Collins is an amazing writer! I want be like her. The way she writes I mean. I want to write just like her. She captures so much. She describes everything so wonderfully, it gives a clear picture in my mind. Now I'm reading Mockingjay, the final book of the Hunger Games. So much happened in just these three books that I have to really concentrate to stay on track. Sometimes I missed some important parts and had to go back a few pages to understand what was happening. I loved these fast paced books. I can't wait to read the ending!

You're leaving. For a while maybe,a few months maybe but still. Come on dude! My birthday! You won't even be here for it. Seriously? :( I love you. You know that right? You're just like a sister to me. Even though we live in different houses and with different families, I've known you since I was 3. A bond that can't be easily broken even if you want it to. Though I'm not trying to break it. You're the one hope, the one star I see shining constantly even when there's the sun. The sun can brighten up the day however brightly but eventually the night will come and I'll need the stars. Not stars, just one particular star. I need you now, I'll need you later. I'll need you forever.

Your birthday happened a little while ago and even though I had planned to write a whole big love filled post for you I don't know why but I didn't write it. Guess I can write it now since the words are coming easily and my emotions are extremely strong.

I was 3 and I'd been in the school for a while when you came. You were adorable with the silky brown hair and a milk bottle clutched tightly in your hands as if your life depended on it. The teacher told me to try to talk to you, to play with you. I came over and tapped on your shoulder. You turned and looked at me as if I was a huge monster that had come to eat you and you ran away. I don't remember more but I'm guessing I probably just shrugged my shoulders because I knew you'd come eventually. You did. We became friends, then best friends and then friends that could never be seperated no matter what happened.

I can't explain everything that happened since we were 3 to now, when you're 13 and I'm 12 turning 13 in May. Do me a huge favor and try not to forget my birthday. That will really make me very very angry. I trust you though. I always have I always will, sis. So yeah, I remember a lot of incidents from all these years. Some are happy some are sad and some are so unimportant that I don't know why they're stuck in my head.

I remember you coming to my house. I remember me coming to your house. How we laughed till tears were pouring down our cheeks and we were holding our stomachs tightly. How we fought as if we hated eachother. Lots of things...

Your leaving on the 25th April, maybe later, hopefully not earlier. I know I've already said it but I can say it a million times and still not get tired. I love you and I'll miss you TERRIBLY! Have fun, enjoy life and may you have a happily ever after since your probably the one person who deserves it most. <3 I'll miss you Mots...

Does it work for everyone? I never thought so... Still don't think so.

I wish...

I wish there was someone I could cuddle up into and who could tell me I was the whole world to them. Yes, I feel like I belong now. I have best friends and friends and blah blah. Now the trip to Lahore isn't that far and I can't remember last when I was this excited but yet sometimes I know that the best friends I have now may not need me sometimes. I wish I had someone who was in my soul so that I never felt like I was never alone. If I ever find that person, a person who can touch my soul, I'll never make them cry. Never hurt them. I never find that kind of person though. I know I won't find that person for a veerryyy long time but everyone has a few wishes, a few dreams they can dream. But some dreams I want to stay as dreams. I'm not talking about nightmares. I'm talking about the most beautiful dreams. There are probably reasons why they're dreams, why they never come true. At least I'm blessed enough to have many happy dreams in my life. I know everyone has a pleasant dream once in a while but for some reason I feel like I'm privileged with the dreams I have. I don't think I'm favored. Not by anyone. Definitely not by the person who makes my dreams the way they are. But I know I'm lucky and I'm thankful for that. Thankful yet still full of wishes...